Friday, April 15, 2011

The Big Little Kitchen Redo: Stage Fright

The kitchen is coming along. We still don't have running water, so I'm still not cooking, but it's imminent. As in, this weekend. And the most frequent question I'm getting is:

"So what is going to be the first thing you cook in your new kitchen??"

Wow. Talk about pressure.

I should probably admit that I've already cooked a few things. Things that don't require a large load of dishes. Things like eggs and baked potatoes. Lots of baked potatoes. Lots and lots of baked potatoes. Lots and lots and lots... you get the point.  But surely those don't count. No, I think the question:

"So, what is going to be the first thing you cook in your new kitchen??" means "No, seriously. What BIG ELABORATE HUGE HONKIN' USE-EVERY-SQUARE-INCH-OF-THE-NEW-SPACE THING are you going to CREATE????"

To which my response is:


Am I up to this gauntlet that has been thrown down? Or do I resort to my most common response of "What? You mean we don't go out to celebrate this achievement?"

I honestly haven't given it a moment's thought. I've been way too busy with work (I have a job, which thankfully is paying for this redo), and answering contractor's questions, and riding the asses (sorry, but trust me, it's warranted) of some of the sub-contractors who would rather go get Bojangle's biscuits than make my countertop.

But in the face of these questions, I feel the need to pull out something... amazing! spectacular! the likes of which only the royals have ever seen! Babette's Feast!

Of course, there's only the two of us. Which puts the brakes on a good bit. I mean, there's only so much we can eat anyway.

We do have a small gathering planned for the ossum peeps who have been thoughtful enough to feed us and who have contributed materially to the project (like our sweet neighbors who haven't complained about the used car lot our driveway has become). I HAVE planned what I'm cooking for that. But I haven't sent out invitations yet, because I'm waiting for a functioning kitchen to become a reality. If there's one thing I've learned through this process, it's to not trust the contractor's time estimate. Things happen outside his power. (Yes, Billy the Biscuit-Eating Sheet Metal Slacker, I'm talking about you.)

He did do a nice job on the countertop. Finally.

Nick is smiling because he one-upped Billy the Sheet Metal Slacker. He likes it, though. It looks good. That's Pootie on the left and Nick, the contractor, on the right.

So what to cook? The reality is that it's probably going to be mid-week before we're completely finished. Like Wednesday. Who cooks an elaborate meal for two on a Wednesday? That's the stage fright talking. I feel like I'll be letting my three readers (none of whom are related to me, I might add) down by cooking something prosaic. Like meatloaf.

The world! (all three of them!) is watching! Anxiously awaiting what will be the first REAL meal I cook in this slightly-less-than-spectacular-honestly-just-a-pleasant-small-functional-kitchen. So I should probably think. And plan. So I don't let you down.

I promise, even if it's just baked potatoes, I'll let you know.

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