Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Thanksgiving Turkey Marketing 101

I got my Williams-Sonoma Catalogue the other day. I do love looking at their stuff, and I love browsing their store, but inevitably, I walk out of there shaking my head mumbling "They ought to be ashamed of themselves".

So as I was perusing the beautiful pictures, I came across their ten steps to the perfect turkey.

Ten steps to the perfect turkey! I'm all ears! Alllll I need is:
Step 1: Their turkey brine ($18)
Step 2: Their Turkey Brining Bags (big Ziploc bags) (4 for ONLY $16)
Step 3: Their Chef n Garlic Zoom, which chops garlic for you ($14.95)
Step 4: Their special Green herb snips, which look a lot like scissors to me ($12.00)
Step 5: The Acorn Twine Holder (twine included! What a bargain!) ($26.00)
Step 6: The All-Clad Kitchen Timer/clock ($39.95)
Step 7: Their All-Clad Thermometer ($49.95)
Step 8: Their angled dripless bulb baster ($18.00)
Step 9 (almost there!): The All-Clad Stainless Steel Turkey Lifters ($35.00)
And last but not least Step 10: A Monogrammed carving board with a well to catch the juices (ONLY $99.00) !

“wa-lah”! Perfect Terky!

Oh, wait. I need a roasting pan, don’t I? Well, they have one for $279.95.

Oh, holy crap! I still don’t have a TURKEY!! Thank goodness I can order it from them! Let’s see… Yep. A nice 25 pound Free Range Turkey. Only $145.95.

Thanksgiving is SAVED!!

Marketing at its finest. I'm not saying their stuff is bad - it's high quality. But I think I'll save my $754.75 plus tax and shipping and handling to maybe buy some side dishes to go with my turkey. That I won't be brining, that I will be cooking in my old roasting pan and lifting with my oven mitts, basting with a spoon and checking on doneness with a fork. You know, when the juices run clear... that method.

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